Wednesday, February 5, 2014

My burdened heart as we become a family of 6.

"But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, "Abba, Father." 
Galatians 4:4-6

"And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers & sisters, you were doing it to me!'
Matthew 25:40



Let's be honest, I am NOT a writer nor do I claim to be one. I do, however, have a burdened heart that is bursting at the seams to share with others. So, without further or do, here is my heart in a nut shell.

It all started when I found out I was pregnant for the second time & I would be stepping onto Haiti soil 12 weeks pregnant. I will never forget the little faces that stared back at me & followed me around everywhere we went. The small, adorable faces that would stare at us in the mornings during breakfast through the fence longing to be loved, fed, & cared for by a mommy & daddy. I will never forget the little girl who wouldn't crack one grin until I took her off to the side of the crowd, cleaned her up with baby wipes, held her for hours, sang to her, & fed her a granola bar then finally came her beaming white grin that is instilled in my heart to this day. I couldn't wait to get back to tell Jeremy my heart but I physically hurt to think of leaving this place they called Haiti without a child to bring home. 

It took a few years for Jeremy's heart to be on the same page as mine about adoption but I knew that someday he too would have a burden on his heart for the orphans. He is an amazing daddy & loves kids so I knew it wouldn't take much for God to prepare his heart. Our friends encouraged us last year to bring home a foster son to stay for the holidays. It was a great program to allow all the kids in the Laura Dester shelter here in Tulsa to have a family to spend Thanksgiving with & not be alone. We were thrilled to bring in a 4 year old broken soul. This precious boy not only won the heart of our then 2.5 year old son but broke our hearts in two. Every night it took hours of praying, reading, rubbing his head to get him to sleep. I remember Jeremy being so upset that there were kids who couldn't sleep at night out of fear. Needless to say, his heart was burdened & would forever be changed.

Fast forward to this off season where we are surrounded by love, support, and many adopted families in our life. We have made best friends who share a common burden… hearts for the orphans. They have a little boy who is from Uganda & has completely stolen our whole families hearts along with many other families & their adopted little loves. After months & months of knowing someday we would adopt ourselves we came to a conclusion that we, too, were ready to adopt. I denied it for awhile to be honest…. its scary. There was a specific afternoon where Jeremy & I both got in the car, looked at each other, & without saying anything he said "ok, lets do it"…. I knew what he meant, bawled my eyes out,  & that was it…. it was our turn to bring home an orphan. We want lots of kids & just felt this was the right timing for our family.

Fast forward again to a few days ago. I had been exhausted more than normal, grouchy, & lets get real… bloated. For a few months we had prayed to have a baby of our own & I thought that maybe that desire meant adoption was next & not a baby growing in my belly… wrong. Friday afternoon the stick read PREGNANT. A part of me was so thrilled as we had prayed for another baby but the other part of me hurt because I knew we would have to push the adoption process back another year. 

God knows our children. He knows the ones who grow inside my belly & the ones we will fly across the ocean to bring home. He has a plan & we are beyond excited to see what is revealed through the whole thing. We have been so blessed more than we could ever imagine & I pray through our journey that we can impact others lives, be transparent, educate them on the adoption process, & encourage others to adopt.

In the meantime, bring on the maternity clothes, doctor appointments, donuts,  stretch marks, & lopsided running for this momma! I love all my babies & my incredible husband! Thank you all for all of your encouraging words & support! We can't wait to update you more in the near future!

I am clinging to this verse & embracing it as each step comes. I want to enjoy my children & each stage they go through… I dont want to rush a thing but my burden heart is ready. 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." 
Philippians 4:6

To my husband: I can't imagine doing life with anyone else! You truly are my best friend. Thank you for being the leader of our home. You make me feel special everyday & I adore watching you with our kids.

To my Jace & Jaylee: I love you beyond words. You are the reason this momma's heart is burdened because I saw you every time I looked into those children's eyes in Haiti. I love being your momma! I learn from you every single day.

To our baby in my growing belly: Mommy & Daddy have prayed for you & cannot wait to meet you! Get ready because you have two siblings ready to teach you all kinds of ornery things & lots of people who already love you.

To our future baby in Uganda: Mommy & Daddy cannot wait to meet you & see you face to face. You might not even be born yet but I know God has perfectly choreographed the details for you to be ours. We know God has allowed us to be your parents & we do not take that lightly. We don't even know you yet but love you more than you will ever know.


Love,
Sarah Grace

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